Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

Filed under: angel

The Death of Amanda Todd

I was shocked to learn the details of a death of Amanda Todd this morning. Amanda is a 15 year old girl in the Vancouver area of the province of British Columbia, Canada. She took her own life after being bullied online.

First, to her family I pass on my deep and sincere condolences.

Second, I wish I had seen her video before she made her decision.

Finally, if you are bullied and depressed please reach out to someone. I'm a last resort but I will ALWAYS be there to listen and help anyone in a situation as this.

 

I've lost some friends to suicide and I've also been fortunate enough to help some friends out of the decision to take their own life. I didn't have any magic powers I simply listened. I will listen to anyone who needs a friend because it's so very wrong to feel alone in this world. Please reach out to someone. I wish I could have been there for Amanda.

#RIPAmanda

 

How come only after her death did this become major news? Is it the fault of the media? Is it the fault of society because there's simply too many depressed children out there to post every story of hurt and pain? I don't know the answer. I can only ask questions to find where the problem lies. Did the school do everything they could to help? The quote was 'we have the appropriate help in place.' What does that mean? Did anyone give her a hug? Having programs 'in place' or guiding a child to see someone isn't the same as offering your full support. People have amazing abilities and there is always something more you can do. Always.

To those directly responsible for her pain, have you recognized the issue at all in yourself? To the parents of those involved, have you reconciled your part in your children's behaviour as well? How could people even begin to justify the torment they brought upon a young girl? It is unjustifable. Period.

 

I am so amazed that this was the result.

 

People are genuinely good and compassionate. But many things can lead them astray including the persuasion of other people to do wrong. And sometimes we get led down a certain path that we can't find our way back from. Our strength as people lies in our ability to learn and grow and recognize those paths we are on. Amanda had made some mistakes and she had attempted to correct them. She posted that she admitted her mistake. She made steps to learn and grow as a person. But certain people felt that wasn't enough from her. It is and should be enough. People couldn't let that go and these people on their own bad path themselves couldn't recognize growth and the ability to learn and work past their own tendancy to torment someone in pain. In my perspective she was the better person than those who continued the relentless attack.

Whenever anyone asks for help, stop what you're doing. Offer what you can. Her help is more important that your commute to work, your papers that need to be graded, your phone call that you're on. Take the time to help someone in need.

Bullying is a term that has lost its meaning a bit with all the talk around it so I don't know how to address the term properly here in this blog. I'm reluctant to use the term at all. Regardless of what you feel someone has done to you your response should never be to escalate or consider an equally bad response. If someone does something you feel is bad and then you respond with something bad then you lose the ability to consider their action 'bad.' This is a huge problem and something I feel is wrong.

Escalation happens because you feel justified in acting bad because that person did something you deemed wrong. If you do wrong, then someone else has justification to be bad to you. It's an evil spiral that is created that someone needs to break out of. If you judge someone's action as wrong and respond badly towards them, it is never justifable and if you justify it as so then you are bullying and there is no excuse. You have to find some common ground.

I see the entire situation as so completely wrong that we lost an angel. Was she perfect? No. Was she good? I believe she was. She had recognized her mistakes and admitted and owned the mistakes she made. We all make mistakes. Recognizing them and correcting them is how we show our character and strength as a person. Everyone can be a strong person and of good moral character. It's the choices we make and owning the mistakes we make that make us human.

 

If you are bullied or feel alone in a situation similar to Amanda, reach out to someone. Even if it's me, reach out and find someone. Do not go through this alone. If someone comes to you for help, please do everything you can. I have spent nights huddling outside in the cold for 8 hours in below freezing temperatures just to listen because I was asked if I could. There was nothing else in the world that was more important in that moment. And I have a life-long friend to call when I need now because he is still here.

I never knew Amanda nor never saw her video before this morning, but I wish she was still here. She deserves to be here.